When it first happened to me,

I spent the night

frozen,

praying

that I would wake up and all would be forgotten.

That I would not kill.

Killing had never been an option.

Death had never been an option.

The horrors in my mind had never been an option.

I had never known the horrors of my mind.

 

When it first happened to me,

I became my fear

And then I became afraid of myself

And then I lived my life, afraid of myself

afraid of when the next betrayal would happen.

And I was betrayed,

I had been betrayed

and it didn’t matter what I wanted

because the betrayer had a mind,

oh what a mind,

of his own.

When it happened to me,

I was betrayed

And that’s when I became a slave

and the betrayer,

my master.