I am the biggest victim.

I am the one

who is reactive to life,

who thinks I am only a cog in a wheel

ground into reaction

forced into activity.

 

I am the biggest victim.

And I don’t want anyone to know.

Sorry.

 

But I am the biggest victim.

I feel like I am at the effect

of my life.

Constantly reacting to what is happening

constant fire-drill emotions

and thoughts that become problems.

Even as I appear calm on the outside

Even as I fool myself into thinking I

am calm, rather than

sedated.

There is so much I don’t see

that I claim to see

Even the real things I claim to see

that I actually see

had meanings put there by someone else.

They are not originally mine.

So the question must be:

What is originally mine.