I don’t understand this word
the way you understand it.
Speeding trains of indignation and righteousness
This train doesn’t stop for me.
I’m not sure this train stops for anyone.
But who is driving and where did it come from?
It’s so disgusting, like the foulest smell
to hear and see excuses,
I am fully disgusted with myself
and my excuses.
But there is a difference, there’s a difference
Like the difference between night and day,
between cold and hot.
Not dusk, not dawn, not warm.
The difference between the hottest hot and the coldest cold
is the difference between
a person who would celebrate and promote
physical force and punishment
in order to change another’s behavior,
And a person who would be humbled
and distraught at the thought.
I’m so upset at myself for not having done more
I just never thought people who once were children
would ever forget themselves so completely
to celebrate the blaming of others.
And even now,
I must fight hard against myself
against my desire, my need, my custom
To punish the punishers.
But I do fight, I do fight
I fight against myself,
I use my mind, I use my mind
I command my mind
and my mind tells my body
that we will not feel what we so yearn to feel
we will not feel the sexual release of anger
the erotic build of domination
and the climax of our own righteousness.
The world is full of it now,
in putrid waves of blame.
But I will tell you. I will not let it win.
I will not celebrate righteousness and physical violence
I will not celebrate force and blame.
It is the worst nugget of humanity
And it’s deserving of nothing
but crystal clear responsibility.
What is Patriarchy?