I will never forget you. Forgetting you would be like Forgetting me. You are of me, my son, You form me. One day you may know this caring neglect of your own desires In favor of one so precious, as you. You, my son, are the greatest reason For the greatest of all things, I … Continue reading A Letter To My Son
Damn. Black skinned girl. Black skinned tribe. Damn. You make things move in me. And you make other things stop. And so I wonder What's the problem... What's the problem... What's the real problem, in any of it.
23 years later I recognize I can put that weight down. I recognize that there was no "Panic Attack". Instead there WAS an explosion of perception, an explosion of emotions, an explosion of thoughts.
I never saw it coming. I turned cold and sick. The avalanche, rumbling death, growing. The rumbling, growing death. When the earth shakes, there is nowhere to hide and nothing is safe. When your home shakes, you can find stronger land. When the land shakes, there is nothing to find. I didn't know my beliefs … Continue reading Panic Attack-The Earthquake 1
Where did this enemy come from and why is here here, with me and what does he want and how can I stop him? He was unstoppable. And so I began the process of changing my life of bending my life of sacrificing my life of giving my life of accomodating my life of fearing … Continue reading Panic Attack-The Earthquake 2
When it first happened to me, I spent the night frozen, praying that I would wake up and all would be forgotten. That I would not kill. Killing had never been an option. Death had never been an option. The horrors in my mind had never been an option. I had never known the horrors … Continue reading Panic Attack-The Betrayer
When it first happened to me, the Gift, I didn't see it that way No, not at all. When it first happened to me, I imagined killing all I loved with a knife. When it first happened to me, I knew. I knew. I knew. If I moved my body I would surely fullfill the … Continue reading Panic Attack-When It First Happened
I felt death, again but this time there was no doubt no confusion. Only last breath knowledge, fleeting and consuming, vast when the body rebels after the air has stopped and you finally understand the finity of your mind you get it, that your thoughts will end your program will crash and everything you know … Continue reading Panic Attack – The Unnecessary Nightmare
I figured this out! With an emphasis on the "I". "I". So sure and desirous, definitive. "I". While playing games, it's all about him. So refreshing to watch So refreshing that I don't give in to my urge to punish him back to fear driven humility. I watch him like a scientist, He is so … Continue reading The Uninhibited “I”