Fatherhood: Carrying Fire in the Darkness

Who knows the tremondosity of a young boys’ fear?

I do. I do. I do.

Little body, waif like knees – askance in the darkness

New fingers rubbing tired eyes, alone, having given up

Waiting beyond hope, to be rescued and taken in.

I fly from my bed, beyond my shape and sedentary style

I fly naked at the first cry in the night.

I was not there initially, when the cry was younger

I did not fly for that.

But for this…

To meet the worldly fear of a young boy – for this…I fly.

And my own young heart is heavy with memories

My own young heart knows the fear of darkness and monsters and falling into nothing.

My own young heart knows the fear of darkness and monsters and falling into nothing.

I meet the boy and take him in.

I am solace in the storm.

I meet the boy, and I take him in

I guide him to my chest.

I meet the boy and take him in

I bring him to his mother.

who offers herself to him.

Who knows what oceans he can see and what flags he does unfurl…

I thought I did but I was wrong as I always am

But I am right about one thing…

I will be his land.

And I will fly to him no matter what, in the darkest of the night

I will fly to him and take him in

No matter what he fights.

and no matter if he’s given up or

decides to run away,

I will fly to the young boy

with light to lead the way.

And as I sit in quiet and in the coming of the day

I begin a thought that’s shaped of purpose

for the father role I play.

It’s not new, it’s not unique to me but yet it’s still my own

I will carry light with me, wherever I may roam.

I will not know things or understand, my thinking will be small

I may be crude or slovenly, and many times I’ll fall

But if my son, in darkness, finds himself alone

and if his mind is racing but his feet won’t take him home

By God I’ll find him and fly a light to him,

by God I’ll bring him home.

So as you travel, my young one, far and near in darkness and in gloam

know that I am up ahead or close behind and I carry fire in my bag

And if you call to me or not, or venture on alone,

that fire in my bag, it is my gift, it is my home.

So explore the world young boy, for it is the best that you can do

And know your father carries fire and in the darkness will fly to you.

(With the deepest love for my son – and for all the fathers who carry the fire in the darkness).

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