There is something he doesn’t know
And I hope he never knows it
I knew it at 24
And I’ve been clawing, fighting
And giving up
Since then
It tried to know me at 10
But I wasn’t ready
And, of course, our world
Our human world
Encourages us all to not be ready
So it wasn’t a problem
That I wasn’t ready
I was made to pretend
It was only growing pains
As if growing pains were a finite term
A period put on infinity
“Life”

My god.
My god.
All these years
I’ve been fighting my gift
My god.
My god.

I am sorry.
I turn
And stare into the abyss
That is always
Just behind me.